You know, I'm not exactly the poetic type... However I gave it a shot and I may as well post what I've got! Feel free to "fix" it up if you find a way :D

The Wagga Wagga Werewolf


"Listen up class. Please get take your seats!
I'm going to read one of my great feats!"
Lockheart waltzed swiftly to the mahogany shelf
And whimsically selected a book on himself.


Trying to be smooth, he risked a quick twirl
But lost his own balance and squealed like a girl
The class erupted with laughter - but it did him no harm
He easily fixed it with a memory charm.


With order restored, he opened his book.
"Oh my" He said. "Just look here, look!"
"It's the tale of that Wolf- the one from Wagga Wagga
And how I managed to slay it while performing basic yoga!"


Hermione shrieked with delight and she fell off her chair.
She ran up the front and joined in with him there!
First came the stretches, then came the poses
And then came some punches he bruised Wagga's nose with.


As the bell finally rang, Harry let out a sigh
It was moments like these that he wanted to cry.
For he knew that detention was with Lockheart tonight
And so the Wagga Wagga dance he would learn to recite.

Lockhart walked through the forest glade.
Stopping to rest by the pond in the shade.

As he primped and admired his reflection
In the sea of blue-green
The wagga wagga werewolf snuck up on
Poor Gilderoy unseen!

Grrrr! The werewolf cried.
Poor Lockhart was so startled he about died.
He saw the werewolf about to bite.
"Oh no "he thought "my beautiful face would be such a horrible sight."

So Lockhart reached deep in his pockets
He threw his hair rollers and prized hair nets.
The Wagga wagga werewolf got all tangled up in them.
Thats as good as it gets!

Gave it a shot xD Wrote it as if it had actually been for Lockhart's class, so talked him up a bit.. for good marks, y'know (Slytherin; sorry xP). Also assumed it was situated in Wagga Wagga (New South Wales, Australia). Did you guys know that this HP-reference is actually on the Wiki page for that city? It's hilarious ^^

For years New South Wales had been troubled;
Their anxiety had doubled
As the Wagga Wagga Werewolf wandered around
The damage inflicted profound

But the state was in luck;
World’s most courageous man had heard and come
Got his stunning features covered in the werewolf’s latest victim’s guck
Then fooled the beast by feigning to be paralysed and numb

Yet Gilderoy knew blood did nothing but enhance his facade
And drew magical strength from the public laud
He knew would soon be his
Even when the werewolf’s claws tore his robes in that one miss

In one swift movement he grabbed his wand
Drawing complex diagrams into the sky as he muttered the Homorphus Charm
Leaving a confused Wagga Wagga-man who failed to abscond
Now bound by Incarcerous-ropes and unable to harm

Thus ends our werewolf-tale
Lockhart’s fame righteously risen
Having ended the fatality-trail
With the Wagga Wagga-man in prison

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